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Short story i wrote. TITLE: I WILL NOT CONFORM TO ANY MONKEY-BASED STANDARDS. YOU CANNOT CONTROL ME, SILLY APES!

2010-12-01 00:00:08 by iamrllyhawt

CHOP, CHOP, CHOP. I LOVE CUTTING WOOD.

CHOP, CHOP, CHOP. WOOD IS TOUGH.

CHOP, CHOP, CHOP. WOOD GAVE ME PREGNANCY.

hello my dear friend. would you like to buy some cabbage? or maybe an award-winning play write by an illiterate lttle boy?

n-no-noo..thank youu..uu..

are you OK sir? your speech appears to be impeded.

I JUST LIKE TO EAT CATERPILLARS SO MUCH. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME. MY TALKS AT THE MARKET ARE ODD. THEY TELL ME THAT CATERPILLARS ARE POISONOUS, AND THAT THEY PEE ON ME. BUT, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, THAT CATERPILLARS ARE A DELICACY TO THE GNOMES OF LORE. THE GNOMES WOULD SPRAY THEIR CATERPILLARS WITH LIQUIDATED TOE-FUNGUS IN ORDER TO GET THE PERFECT FLAVOUR. IT WAS SAID THAT THE CATERPILLARS WERE SO WELL MADE, THEY TASTED LIKE AN ENT'S LARGE RIGHT TOE.

0_0 i'll come back later, you know? when your less insane.

sounds cool, bro. i'll be here, massaging my caterpillars.

if reptiles could speak, they would recommend that you grow multiple tails. they would surely tell you of all the epic stories of how they escaped 5 year old children, utilising nothing but their tails as bait.

and surely, you would be educated on how 6 tails, all of their own unique patterns, impressed all the female reptiles, and brought on a merciless onslaught of sex-induced rage to the holder of the 6 geen and turquoise whips; an onslaught that brought the mightiest feeling of all-powerful regality to a 6-tailed male reptile.


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